June

Happy mid-june. I'm only left with one more week, before some intensive lessons start all over again. June been so happening. Too much emotional rides, too much fun, too wild, too crazy.

1st pix: (3) applies to me right now. June been such a friendship-issue month. Breaking down when I can't take anymore and start to be strong after breakdowns, and the cycle continues. Praying that everything would be ok soon, and hopefully prayers will get answered one day!

Everything is slowly drifting away from me right now, really wish I've chains to just anchor it down. Dont want any changes. Nothing's being settled. Once, I did doubt myself that whether I'm the cause of everything. But, not anymore now. Just feel that, it's just left there. Nobody is gonna touch it, and everyone is hopefully praying for things to get better in time.

But for me, leaving it hanging makes me feel even more worse. To a point, that I can feel my heart aching so fucking badly. I don't intend for everything to be back to normal because scars are left behind. Just assure me that friends do last forever, and forever is true.

2nd pix: Last week, I woke up in the middle in the night after a nightmare. I had a flashback of the last year that I've wasted. The moment I woke up, I went through the pictures in my phone. Many thoughts came into my mind, and left me wondering what drifted us? How did we drift? Was it me? Was it you? Or everyone? I can still remember my dream and it's really really sad. It wasn't just us being strangers, it was everyone ignoring each other's presence.

Maybe it's the alcohol that gave me such a dream. W been sucha good friend, cheering me up whenever I needed some laughters. Got to admit, I do miss 2010. I miss everything in 2010.

3rd pix: Each time I've any problems or some emotional issues that just pop out of my mind, I take sb. I don't want any more sb. I really want to put a stop at whatever we're at right now. Too much friendship issues, too much rs issues. I don't want anymore of these, can we all put a stop right now? Wipe off the masks we're wearing, put on our real feelings and faces and end it off.

It's me or her.
It's you or us.

Words for June: Don’t want to lose the love I’ve found. But when it's gone, I don't want to search for it anymore again, time to stop the pain and live life happily.