breaking down once twice thrice

Stop judging me in school based on my results for midyears. Ya, i failed. I failed damn badly D7 E8 F9 all hit on all subjecs. What else, its just like this, its already Aug and midyears were like May? Whats wrong with the teachers. Aren't they suppose to support the students.

I'm fking stressed already, i really dont need additional stuff ok. Ya, say that i'm heading to ite, ys so be it la, ite then ite. The rate you're saying to me everyday, i'll really do ite. would you be happy if i'm heading to ite? If you're using reverse psychology on me then too bad, it doesnt work. Change a tactic, please.

Heading to school been a stressful thing to me ok. I used to like school, looking forward to whatever lessons i had, esp maths. But now, i dont even fucking bother to look forward to school. Think about it, why is it me me me. Being the fkedup kid thats playing rebellious in school. Being so fking nosensical in class. Think about it la. Compare me and last year. Fking big difference ok. Now, the only thing i look forward to school, is the ppl in sch. No more studies or teachers.

The teachers used to understand me. Esp msyuen, i miss her maximum. :( Stressedup, so stressedup every single day. When i'm home, i dont even get to throw my worries out to my family members. Reason being: they dont even believe me. They rather believe my teachers. Do i even had a right to say during ptm. Do I even have the choice at all. I dont.

I do have a perfect family. Father mother sister brother. But what i really want, is them to understand and talk to me at home. I dont even have somebody to communicate at home ok. Going through means to talk to somebody on the phone everyday, talking to somebody not physically beside me. Why? Because they no longer bother about me. Why? becayse of the fking ptm.

I didn't have the choice to enter this class. If the sch had bio&chem, i prolly wouldnt go through so much right now. I entered 3e2, with teachers that i dont even understand how do you guys expect me to study so well. I already lost the motivation to study. I can't even study on. And no matter how hard i study, i dont even understand the bloody fk topics i'm learning. Study, i'm studying with teachers that dont even teach me at all.

Even majority of the class agrees that some of our teachers arent good. Doesnt even teach us. How you expect me to study. Lagging behind everybody, you think i like it meh? I'm already trying so bloody hard to keep up with everybody. it isnt easy. Understand me pls.

I guess if wasnt quekqian and shiyun the other day, I would have already jump down the building. I dont like the life i'm having right now. I cut alot of things down just to keep up, clubs drink cliques outside. And what do i get in return? Mostly all the teachers picking on me because if the so called bad record i have.

Judging me, picking on me. urg i had enough. I wanna take a break from schxooling, take a small short break, take my mind of it for awhile. urg save me please. Before i went to bathe just now, my mom talked about my school/results/in class again. once again, breaking down. fk break downs. why cant my mom understands me. i just need a small hope in life right now. give me it, will you.

bye. x