our happily ever afters were just disappearing away

I used to plan what to do with you. Shopping, dinner, suppers, koi, manicure, threading, expresses, concerts. Turned out we werent that close anymore. Dk whether it's you or me but i no longer feel we're that close anymore.

I'm seeing you in a different angle slowly. Call me jealous, saddist or untrustable. But its truth dear, we're no longer that close. I bet you can feel it too. Supposely thinking that this feeling will disappear quite soon after you texted me & apologise, but turned out it did not. Nothing changed, youre still the same. Yknow i feel that sometimes, you're just venting your temper on me & stuffs.

or just using me like some toy. Idk. I just feel so insecure with our friendshop. No longer that strong & inseperable. its like at any moment i let go of it, it'll just sweep away. Honestly, you can ask me about it. I can tell me that i'm displease about many things. & maybe to you, you will find me & our friendship displeasing too.

I no longer hope that we'll be stronger, but when this continues unsolved nothing will be solved & prolly gone wrong way too. idk about this anymore, tell me do you feel the same that i'm feeling? Yes, i admit i feel insecure about this & i'm not willing to take the first step because i know i'll be left behind.

Truth to be said, when we meet up with our friends, i'll take time to think whether i wna go anot. Because i don't wanna have the feeling stuck in me till the day ends. Idk either, but whenever i become closer to someone, problems just arises. Maybe its me, maybe its you.

H2h talks one day would solve. Idk. xx

(you read my blog, maybe you know who youre.)