I'm the mystery

i think my first drop of tears came from the right eye. But it's not happiness. It's stress. Perhaps, emotional breakdown? I just felt like crying today. ): but I don't really know whats the reason for crying. Maybe stress?

I just can't stand Council/studies sometimes, even though I "love" it. I feel like quitting Council sometimes. I don't even know why I don't know why I do my duties with my heart and doing things with having council at the back of my mind. Mr Lee doesn't even care, neither does the council themselves.

But when I do badly, they scolds/lecture/"nags" like hell. Whether minor or major mistakes, scold scold like hell. But they themselves make the same mistakes, yet only scold us or simply me. HOW COME A NORMAL HUMAN BEING TAKE IT?

After being known that the whole thing was a fake a cheating thing. I felt like a accomplice of triad club. ): I haven't got over the incidents.

STUPID LECTURE/SCOLDING/COUNCIL/STUDIES. Stepping into the council room or talking to the council teachers are real pain. It just reminds me of what happened in the past. I have this phobia. I'm given the "criminal look" from couple of people in the exco. And its really painful facing that type of faces like almost everyday.

How will I be able to concentrate on studies? ): I can't fail this year, I gave promises to many.

Waiting outside the Council room was another harder thing. I tried ending my life of the council, but i failed. What's next, i guess the torture will begin soon. ):

There's geog test tomorrow. Council is occupying my mind while the another side occupied by something else. How to concentrate. ):

Dear God, please help me.

Yayee, at least the week is ending. I can see happiness at the end of the week already! :>